I'm not good at these titles..

Well blog.. I need you again. It's finally hit. A certain significant time I've been anticipating for a while now.. You know how some people are really good at recalling significant dates? I'm notorious for it. Dates from events both good and bad stick with me like glue.

Normally I enjoy nostalgia.. But this next little while is a mixed bag.. Today in particular sucks.. I'll explain why in a minute. Since last June I've been anticipating sadness, longing, depression and a whole slew of emotions relating to significant dates over the next 8 months or so. It's been 10 years since one of the most turbulent parts of my life.. Guess I'll start at the beginning.

Ten years ago last June, I fell in love, real love for the first time. Everything before that was a childish fantasy of what I thought love was. That July, my love put us on hold, starting my first experience with emotional roller coasters. The following December, my heart went through the roof again as he rekindled what was once on hold. All 3 of these anniversaries have passed now with little more than a nod and a sigh from me. Now the hard part.....

Today is February 13th.. Also Friday the the 13th and the day before Valentines.. 10 years ago this date also fell on that most unlucky of Fridays.. On that day, I got my heart broken. My love dumped me. Yes, this is the infamous "too clingy" break-up... The one that still hurts after all these years. Worse than that is the circumstances I find myself in today..
The dumping took place at the anime club we both attended all those years ago. Well, I still go, and luck of luck, oh joy, it's tonight... Yes, I get to revisit the scene of the crime, lucky me.... My only blessing is that he won't be there.

I'll get through tonight, no doubt about that. It's just difficult with my memory. Remembering these dates gets annoying sometimes.. It gets more pleasant from here on in, but still the longing for yesteryear will be there... All the dates after today are for my late fiance. First kiss, official start of the relationship, proposal.. all the nice memories. So at least there'll be a smile among the tears for those. It's only today that's just plain painful..
Honestly, who gets dumped the day before the most romantic day on the calendar?? Me, that's who.. *sigh* And people wonder why I still bother to recall it.. I didn't have time to resent Valentines Day after that year because by the next I was in a wonderful relationship with my fiance. But now.... I hate the day again..

So, if I can get through today and tomorrow, I'll be fine. Till then, I'm in one lousy mood.. Take care dear blog and thanks for yet another chance to vent..